I cut across thirteen times before having to go down three separate times. Sometimes when I walk alone I feel dirty, I imagine that I'm the biggest slut to ever exist. I feel my music is my soundtrack to my own so called life, and to be honest I imagine myself as a television program. Because my life is just that eventful. I hate when I try to fool others. A mass amount of people still can find what I try to hide. I don't want to talk to them any longer. I want to just act around them. Completely make them believe it's all hunky dory. I wish everything just drifted away from me like smoke and that it was that easy. I wish that pain didn't take revenge in time. I wish there was a pre-written book about my life. Telling me it all. Who will love me, what i'll be, where i'll be and what all I will see.
Things get really hard though, and I always feel alone. And those who I want to be there for me I either feel I'm trying to impress them, or hide myself from them. I think so much and so hard on everything that I just hate everything. I hate the idea that perhaps one day they'll replace me.
But for now I'm going down and cutting across and drawing these pathetic hearts on my arms.
