What Would He Do?

I felt that I was aware. I thought that I was more awake to the world then anyone else. But then I started to get confused. Did I really say that? Did that really happen? Am I really here? Soon enough I realized that though I feel of all people I'm more down to earth then anyone else I know, I am also the one who is most out of this world. I can't catch my mouth from saying things I don't mean if I can't even tell that I am awake or not. In my dreams I can convince the person I am when awake of events that never happened. Are my dreams truly this real? Or is life just fake? I cannot tell at all, and I am glad I have friends who understand. If I even consider treatment seeing as I am known as a basket case as is and live without treatment and feel mentally more down to earth then most. Does that mean if I go to therapy and get treated for reality identity crisis will I truly be a basket case and no longer obtain some greater knowledge of the world? Are all those who are mad truly the best? I fear how people I once had a strong love for are but memories, memories I don't recall as fondly as I used to. This may sound like a story, a lot of films about this sort of thing have come out recently, I haven't seen a majority of them. But however when I do speak of my problems people refer me to the plot lines of these films. So now my life is a movie? I was always a natural actor. But if this is a story then it'd have to be a lie? I am the writer and I should know. But I don't and doubt I ever will. The issue with the things you create is when they become real. The horrors that lay in my head, once released will surely bring my end. I will not go down like one everyone will take a moment to remember. I will go down like the Cobain and many others.