Something

A song for serenades, another song that I have been avoiding recently. But this song means the world to me. Actually the only way someone could get to my heart besides: a locket, being a musician, saving me, running away with me, or bringing me to the ocean or vice versa.. is to serenade me with this song.

Something in the way she moves,
Attracts me like no other lover.
Something in the way she woos me.
I don't want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.

Somewhere in her smile she knows,
That I don't need no other lover.
Something in her style that shows me.
I don't want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.

You're asking me will my love grow,
I don't know, I don't know.
Stick around, and it may show,
But I don't know, I don't know.

Something in the way she knows,
And all I have to do is think of her.
Something in the things she shows me.
I don't want to leave her now.
You know I believe and how.




*I have no right over this song either*

Don't Go

I was raised in the valley, there was shadows and death.
Got out alive but with scars I can't forget.
This kid back in school, subdued and shy.
An orphan and a brother and unseen by most eyes.
I don't know what it was that made a piece of him die,
Took a boy to the forest, slaughtered him with a scythe.
Stamped on his face, an impression in the dirt.
Do you think the silence makes a good man convert?

We all have our horrors and our demons to fight.
But how can I win, when I'm paralyzed?
They crawl up on my bed, wrap their fingers 'round my throat.
Is this what I get for the choices that I made?
God forgive me, for all my sins. God forgive me, for everything.
God forgive me, for all my sins. God forgive me, God forgive me.

Don't go, I can't do this on my own.
Don't go, I can't do this on my own.
Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night.
I can't live with myself, so stay with me tonight.
Don't go.
Don't go.

(LIGHTS)
If I let you in, you'd just want out.
If I tell you the truth, you'd vie for a lie.
If I spilt my guts, it would make a mess we can't clean up.
If you follow me, you will only get lost.
If you try to get closer, we'll only lose touch.
Yes you already know too much, and you're not going anywhere.

Tell me that you need me 'cause I love you so much.
Tell me that you love me 'cause I need you so much.
Tell me that you need me 'cause I love you so much.
Say you'll never leave me 'cause I need you so much.

Don't go, I can't do this on my own.
Don't go, I can't do this on my own.
Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night.
I can't live with myself, so stay with me tonight.
Don't go, I can't do this on my own.
Don't go.
Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night.
I can't live with myself, so stay with me tonight.
Don't go.

(LIGHTS)
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't go.


*Obviously I have no rights over this song, but I've been listening to song I've been avoiding recently today*

Let Me Disappear

"Everyone who disappears is said to be seen in San Francisco"

-Lord Henry from the Portrait of Dorian Gray

Dear Body,

Body.. can you please confide in someone with what is wrong with you?

Some Are Lakes

She was always there. She's been there since I've been here. She lies in the swaying waters, in the grass of the lake's floor, and in the small sun warmed pools that formed in the crevasses of the rocks.

She has long dark hair hair that would swirl around her hugging the water around her. Her sparkling blue eyes that proved she was ocean raised. Her skin was soft from the salt and sand, and her skin pale from hiding from the sun.

She had always been alone, unfamiliar with the world away from her water, and curious.. Curious of what surrounded her lake, and what was beyond that. Curious of who watched her, and who knew she existed.

A Warning Before Hand

I have over six pages of books I have been dieing to read for years. The list is endless seeing as I constantly add to it. I do plan to be a hoarder of books. I want a personal library in my home, filled with books I have bought based off of this never ending list. I want my children to grab books from this library and experience and learn from the literature like I have. Even if it corrupts them. There is little reason to fear books, or to dread them. They shall never hurt you, unless an entire shelf of them were to fall on you and crush every ounce of you. In that case books are deadly. I never liked reading much as a child, now I can't live without it.

I Don't Even Know

I'd be much cuter if they all just let me drown.

Simple as is I can't scratch off these cretins, these bugs that crawl on my skin. Reminding me of a pain in my past that made this hollowness pass.

Why would I wish this upon myself? People question, they look at me and assume. Assume i'm in good health, assume i'm happy, they assume they assume they assume.

I casually roll restlessly and ache in knowledge that things from me are missing. I don't know what but I can feel it in my bones.

My writing seems increasingly dark. Where did the good go?

I Don't Even Know You But Would You Let Me Drown?

I Don't Even Know You But Could You Knock Me Out?
I Don't Even Know You But Could You Spare Some Time?

Running On Empty

I'm worthless, and have nothing to my name. I'm just an object that's image satisfies the corrupted minds of dirty boys and feeds the anger of those whorish womans.

My Credo

If life were easy, where would the challenge that makes you stronger go? There's no need to fear the coming events though they may not be simple. No matter where you go your biggest fears never fail to confront you. It's all in the matter of if you are strong enough to take them on. If you fear what people think about you, screw them, just don't care what the general public think. Idividuality is what comes from the imagination, and the imagination is everything. If authority questions you; think for yourself and question authority. There is someone out there looking for a person just like you. If you don't stand out how will they ever find you? They need you as much as the ocean needs the moon and it's waves. And once you find this person who makes every inch of you smile, NEVER LET THEM GO! Because there's a place in this world where people like me are found by people like you.

To See The Bad

"Three Days to See" Continued...

4. Has Miss Keller included her plans any sight which might not prove as rewarding as she thinks it would? Give reasons.

-Well I think she has put much thought to what she wants to see seeing as to fully grasp life you must see the good and the bad of it to build utopia and dis-utopia.

Face It

I missed you and all them enough when I left, but I never realized the boy I broke up with would ever be capable of singing songs that would make me cry. I now miss you, and I now question why I'd ever let you go.

Three Days to See

"Three Days to See" Continued..

3. Miss Keller has planned her programme for three days of sight with great care. State, as briefly as you can, the theme around which she organized each day's viewing.

-Miss Keller planned her three days of sight around seeing

(I) She'd see the faces of those who made her life worth living. So she'd finally see with her eyes into the windows of their souls.
(II) She'd like to see all the man made and natural beauty she can see in the world.
(III) On her final day she'd see the haunting world of business life. She wants to take in everything and anything just to further have a grasp of it all.

Take in The Little Things

"Three Days to See" Continued..

2. Miss Keller is astonished that her friend should have seen "nothing in particular" while walking in the woods. Is one justified, then, in concluding that her friend must be an unobservant person. Explain.

-I believe Miss Keller's friend is not "unobservant" per se. I feel she is just accustomed to the daily traits of nature. Seeing as her friend is capable of seeing she doesn't see the need to observe everything being that she has probably seen it or something of similar concept multiple times over the course of her life.

Young Adults

Questions and Answers to "Three Days to See" Analyse

1. Why should Helen Keller select young adulthood, rather than some other period in her life, as a time when a person ought to experience temporary deafness or blindness?

-When you are a child you don't know what seeing really is and it's something that they don't fully have a deep passionate understanding love for. Whereas when you are a young adult or elderly person you've already seen and heard quite a bit. But when you are a young adult you are just finally getting out and being able to take in with a deeper meaning and connection. Therefore it is the age of choice: in my opinion.

The Poor Little Lamb

And when she calls, nobody cares.

When she's lost, she'll be left alone there.

The poor little lamb.

And when she speaks, her words are forgotten.

When she cries, the tears get lost in the rain.

The poor little lamb.

And when she is troubled, no one feels her pain.

When she knows that something is wrong, nobody gives a damn.

The poor little lamb.

And when their world comes to an end, she had already left.

For the little lamb could predict it.

Though you'd think she'd never mourn for their deaths,

The poor little lamb will never forget.

That is That

Searching for a broken man,
loathing the touch of the back of his velvet hand.

Losing the grasp of reality,

Questioning what is and what is a dream.

Needless to say I am where I am at,

Sad to say I am alone.

I fiend for the time I get with you,

the events of us, make you my muse.

My curiosity becomes a heavy load,

too heavy to hold; too heavy for you to know.

I apologize for what I stir upon you,
I apologize for the leash I may tie upon you,

I apologize for being too attached.

But I love you, and that is that.

The Poem You Once Knew

I feel how vulgar this picture may be has good meanings behind it. Women are selfish beasts and I am one of them and know it. It's like how I know im selfless, shallow, and naive. It's in our gene's to be in it for ourselves.

Just A Wonder

I hope you can feel me through my words.

Kept Beyond the Morgue

A Follow Up of "Oh My Scarlet Hands"..

Wesley had been corrupted it ran through every ounce of him. Yet there was this part of him, a part that he didn't speak of. The part of his heart that was mine. Bonded to Wesley's soul was the friendships that he kept beyond the morgue. When Wesley was committed he gave it his all and not even death did them part. But there was one thing that changed him, something that cured his hate.. Not me nor his love for me. But something he experienced himself. When driving home drunkenly one night his car was barely making it 'round the bends. He was going far too fast and eventually went off the road and went straight into a spring stream. The winter brought rushing rivers and he was destined for death. But a brave man jumped in after him and managed to save him from the still bleak water he washed up in. He was in a dreamy state but saw the man. A man as dark as the night's sky and as strong as the earth's gravitation. When he awoke he was in hospital, as he examined the room he saw the man. Asleep on the chair in the room, when the nurse came in to check on him she explained that was the man who saved him and insisted on waiting for him to regain consciousness. It had been 5 days that Wesley was out, I myself recall going to visit before he awoke and talked to the man who stayed dormant in the room. He spoke with a philosophical manner. He did not go to school for he was too poor, but now has an important job. Wesley called to the man still with some hate, but something was changing in him. After the man woke the two began to bond. Something Wesley thought was impossible to do with a man of his colour. Soon enough Wesley learned of how the man was a simple man who lived in Jamaica. He had a wife and two beautiful children and spent his life deep sea fishing. But moved here after the riots in 2001 over the politics, 23 lives were taken, 2 of which.. his own daughters. His wife saw no point to carry on months later and took her own life. The man yearned to have the feeling that someone's life depended on him. He went for bike rides looking to help anyone. But due to his appearance he wasn't exactly someone anyone wanted to help them. He explained how he was giving up on finding a new meaning to life, until he saw Wesley's car go over the edge. By the end of their discussion Wesley gained a father, a man he could never share with his old life, except his few reliable friends. Like myself. I called Wesley and carelessly explained my doings to him, being his love he had to see through the pain. He came within minutes. Not to help me clean up my mess. But to comfort me because he too knew that I never wanted this.

Blue To Grey

You've corrupted me with your lips. Your body has drained something from me. My happiness perhaps? Sure I can gain felicity from other, and the one I love. But I feel in a short time it expires. When in your presence my joy comes rushing back to me with arms wide open like a young. But if your mood is not displeasing you keep my him locked away like Dave Pelzer in his autobiography. I hope it is only to my paranoia that you would treat my rejoice with such hate. I hope you'd never endure what Gertrude Baniszewski did to and allowed to happen to the darling Sylvia Likens on what makes me glow. I don't know if it were me or an other, but your eyes have changed as well and if it were to have been me then at least you are lucky to know i'd never harm a hair on it's head.

Oh The Scarlet On My Hands

A Follow Up of "You're In The Winter Air"...

I am stuck, my mind has only just realized that I can get caught. Though the years have brought distance and strain between my small group of friends I always fell shelter to, I knew I had to call him. The same man who had made my dead love the white supremacist he was to date, is the only man who would not only clean my hands of their scarlet but make them white once more. How could he ever understand some would question. He is not the man he once was. He found the hate and let it overwhelm him, but now he has seen the good and feels the guilt of those he has corrupted. If it weren't for his hate many lives would be saved, including many of his loved ones. His name is Wesley, for one commonly known for his hate he bares a beautiful name. The boy who now lays dead on the ground is Everett. Us three are part of a friendship of four, it has been this way since childhood. Our flats all close together, our walk to school was always the same. We became the best of mates and planned to stay so for generations. Everett was a sweet boy, he would have made any girl happy. But of all girls he fell for me. I myself fear love and what it brings, I fear marriage and it's strings. I fear that feeling that I am caged, and I fear I shall be the bird who breaks it's wings. Everett's mind was too simple, too kind. You could say he was spineless, but he was passionate about the life he lived and those he loved. He was a beautiful artist and had the most lovely of voices. But the boy was shy and kept it all to himself. I guess I did love him seeing as he died, though he died by the slight of my hand. Wesley was not always so hateful, he was a happy child, he loved his family and he loved us. He wanted to follow in his father's footsteps though his father was not some wealthy man with a mint lifestyle. His father was a simple man with a simple life and a simple and loving wife. Unfortunately his mum and dad were mugged at gun point and when they held to their morals and didn't do as they were told... his father was shot laying paralyzed on the ground while his mother was raped in front of his eyes. Then the men shot them both and left them to die. Then Wesley came into reality. This is when Wesley gained his hate. The men left far too much evidence luckily, though no amount of evidence would ever bring back his parents. Years after this the hate grew, and Wesley disappeared. When he returned he was hellish, his eyes ripped through you, his body covered in tattoos that speak of things that made others uncomfortable. He had let the evil inside him grow and saturate every inch of him. Unlike Everett, our groups fourth friend Darcey and I were not easy to walk over. But Wesley did change us as well, we felt the hate that he felt. At the time all he said and all what the others said felt so right. Of course we didn't like hearing of our countries women being raped, stolen or killed. Of course we hated the idea of a child's death due to a stabbing in school. We knew what it was like to see employment being taken from those who were raised her by some foreigner. We stood against it, we had reason to. But in time me and Darcey saw Everett and Wesley going too far. Fights and killings happening by those we knew. We both realized we were no better then those we called dirt. But when ever we'd intervene some fowl play or a fight only harm would come to us. Darcey tried to stop someone he knew from curb stomping a young black boy, only to have the boy's older brother do a drive by and kill Darcey in the act. Like the trial of Wesley's parents there was no true justice. So Wesley put it in his own hands. Pulled some strings and saw the faces of those who killed Darcey. At every known White Power meeting Wesley would hand out pictures of the men who killed Darcy, with a print out on the back of Wesley and his family and his biography and how Wesley saw him. Soon those who killed him were being hunted. It gave Wesley power. He found a man who was sentenced to life in prison for what he had done in the white supremacist, he was in the same prison as the killers of his parents. He had them raped and killed from within the prison. How could a man who obviously had been plunged into hate ever help me, a girl who killed his bestfriend, a girl who killed a strong member of the white supremacy? It's simple.. that girl is his love.

Grow Up And Blow Away

Obviously this is not my song, I have no ownership over it. But it happens to be the song that has described my life for years. Down to the littlest of lines. This song is by Metric and Emily Haines completes my soul.

Floating the rent
Two by two
From the womb
To the holiday
There is no holiday
First double-cross her heart
He wants to start a family
Needing something to go on

If she weren't writing in blood
She'd bring him her jokes
A new liver
And a shovel for the mud
If he were not knee-deep in mud
He'd bring her his drugs
He'd get her a typewriter

If this is the life
Why does it feel so good to die today?
Blue to gray
Grow up and blow away...

If this is the life
Why does it feel so good to die today?
Blue to gray
Grow up and blow away...

Nobody knows which street to take
He took the easy way
What was the easy way?
First double-cross her heart
He wants to start a family
She always thought she would not.

If she weren't writing in blood
She'd bring him her jokes
A new liver
And a shovel for the mud
If he were not knee-deep in mud
He'd bring her his drugs
He'd get her a typewriter

If this is the life
Why does it feel so good to die today?
Blue to gray
Grow up and blow away...

If this is the life
Why does it feel so good to die today?
Blue to gray
Grow up and blow away...

First double-cross her heart
He wants to start a family
Her body is the baby.

If this is the life
Why does it feel so good to die today?
Blue to gray
Grow up and blow away...

If this is the life
Why does it feel so good to die today?
Blue to gray
Grow up and blow away...

Blue to gray
Grow up and blow away...
Blue to gray
Grow up and blow away...
Blue to gray
Grow up and blow away...
Blue to gray
Grow up and blow away...

Apparently Time Doesn't Let Go

Usually I try not to let things get to me. But in this case.. it got to me.

For once instead of dreaming of being this sedated little doll who's world is shaking around her, I understand that it is not the world that is shaking it is me. My hearts beating so vigorously and my minds racing. I'm just incapable of holding back these leaks in my eyes.

You know you're everything to me, but moments like this make me forget everything I am to you.

To Defeat The Absence

I wake up to a strange feeling, my room is surprisingly bleak and my body feels insensate. I look around, what once was red torn walls with images scattered in some banner of an arrangement is now all white. Where did it all go? What exactly is happening? I went to stand and the ground felt like water. I don't understand this world I've come into. I am either dreaming, or I've finally awakened. I went to walk, but the water stuck to my feet like gum on the pavement. I turned to see what was behind me, but nothing had changed. It was my room, just all white. It looked like as though the colour had been sucked right out. What ever this place is seems to be bleached. My hair still soaked with black fire, my skin still speckled with freckles and brushed with the softness of roses. An edge from my dark slate blue stare in the mirror, I realize that so far the only colour left is in me. I look to my toes and see the substance that was stuck on my feet creeping it's way up me. It felt like an ocean of fingers stroking my skin in a calming matter. I feel as though I'm being sedated. Soon my body is in a fetal position, the water forms a embryo around me. I can still see the just of what is happening. My rosy little toes, with their slate blue polish that reflects my eyes begins to loose colour. Soon they too are as white as the room that engulfs me. My essence is being taken with the pulsating tongues of this water. I realize that I can't stand for this.. something in me snaps. I feel my body regain strength. I clench my fists, I get on my feet. The embryo's skin is tight and strong. My spine gains meaning and sends shock like ripples up to my skull. The power in me builds, soon I can feel myself rising off the ground. My eyes open, and with everything I've got in a roaring strength I rupture this seal. I stay in the air as a bright light shoots away from me with my seal, followed by what looks like as though a kaleidescope had vomited. I land calmly yet my body rages. I am the only source of colour for this world. I head towards the door and kick it in. it soars across the room and hits the wall and leaves a mass of colour that begins to spread like ivy on stone walls. I flail my head towards the ground and let out a tiger of a scream. I look to the room only to see the colour run from my mouth like the creature itself. It runs completely around the room until the room to is coloured.

I storm through the rest of my house, only to see a hurricane of colour following me. I rip the door open, and realize theres nothing there except my house.

We Are What We Dream

I had this dream where we were together, we danced in a studio. You danced like you knew what you were doing. You picked me up and spun me around. We were silly, we were strong, we were wonderful. You held me close to you and there was not a second where we weren't smiling.

But when awake, I realize.. I don't need to be asleep to feel this way.

Every dream has a meaning and the meaning to this one is very accurate.

If It Means A lot to You

I me mine, I me mine, I me mine. I feel selfish, I feel dumb. I swore I'd see him and not distance myself from him. But of course my ears cannot hear what I am supposed to hear. I didn't know I could have left at anytime of today to go and see him. I didn't know his plans let alone my own. I feel sad that i didn't see him. I dislike how I was called by the man I work for and was so tired I used a tad bit of attitude on him and I hate how I acted today. Can someone whip a cold bucket of water in my face? I love this boy why am I doing this!?! For a day I spent smiling I feel horrible.

You're In the Winter Air

The smell of copper filled the air, I stepped back. "What have I done?" The words murmured by my mouth. Now his body lays alone near the ridge to the icy stream. The crisp winter morning ruined by the stench of blood. As the body drained the blood steamed. My actions left me in shock, his glock fell from my hand into the snow. I fell to my knees, my body was numb. All I feel is my body trying to rid itself of adrenaline. All I taste is the cold sweat from my lip. And all I see is his pale dead body before me. My eyes begin to analyse like eyes do. I see his eyes staring at the sky. His stare seems so naive, so weak. I can't get over how pale he's become. His hands covered in his own warm blood from when he grasped his wound. From when he attempted to save himself. From when he was convinced he had a chance. His body never looked so young. Without his substance of life I could finally see his age. He is no longer the white supremacist I now knew him as. His body no longer seems hateful. He is the boy I knew as a child. It is only now that I remember him before the hate. Before his happiness that was pure could only be seen in a glimpse of him. Before his happiness terrified me.

Egoism

1. Everyone is just out for him/herself: Strongly Agree.

I myself even though I want to save the earth and animals am out for myself. I want the world to be better for MY future, for MY family in future generations. When I talk it's about me and everything I do is to benefit me. Though the reason I talk about me so much is because it's something I know best. I'm not alone in this boat though.

2. When people think that they are genuinely concerned about the welfare of other, they are just deceiving themselves: Neutral/Undecided.

I feel that there are times where the body craves to be compassionate about others. Especially if the others hold importance ti said person.

3. People are not really free. They are just products of their environment, upbringing and other factors: Neutral/Undecided

I'm not entirely sure. A lot of me has little secure upbringing. I don't truly have one environment and I feel I have little chains holding me down. Though their size is small they are still keeping me on the ground. I usually never tell people when I plan to change myself, I just do.

4. Everyone should watch out just for themselves: Strongly Agree.

There will be few who truly have your back in life so make sure you watch out for it yourself.

5. If everyone watches out just for themselves, the world will be a better place: Neutral/Undecided.

You must help those who cannot help themselves. There are the naive, the young and the helpless. They are incapable of surviving in the world we have created, and if we don't help them the only non-corrupt substance of mind we have left will vanish. Those who are stronger need to havea heart and try to be there for others.

What I Made My Bio.. For Now

There's a lot i can do and a lot i can't do. i love to write but am slow at reading. i procrastinate. i swear. i have one of the weakest immune systems ever. i freeze faster then most people. i nearly die on a regular basis. when it comes to life mine is a legitimate adventure, things get hectic and the world spins and crumbles beneath me and for the most of it i try to focus on the morals I MADE. but once people take those from behind me i feel myself in the size i physically am and await my demise.

my name is claire l. vernon, its a pleasure to meet you.

Oh Look What You've Done

I went back for a visit one day, and I saw him.... And we hugged and talked and it was the best feeling EVER and I never want to feel it again.

What I Shall Never Tell You

Why we both cannot forget each other must be fate, our lives are so similar yet different I'm glad we can relate. The mirror effect we stumble across. The heartaches that we both experience, the same pain portrayed by two people who may have never met nor will. I remember when I tried to hate you, but realized I need you when things get tuff. You deleted me only to re-add me because you missed me. Your words they heal me, though how illiterate you may be. You happen to know the right thing to say at the right time. I admit that there is something between us that was meant to be, not in a sexual or romantic sense. Just some sort of support. You feel you should be a poet for your words have deep meaning. I say you're a Taoist for your mind isn't corrupted by knowledge and your wisdom is profound.

You love a girl who shall never be able to truly love you back, and I did the same childish thing for 3 years of my life. For both of us they keep coming back. We are very a like and though we don't admit it often we do confide in each other. Though never intentionally doing such.

All I can say is I hope you are aware that your existence means the world to me, and I'm glad you miss me.

Basic Moral Orientations

1. Religious commands are very important in my life: Agree.

I am a Pagan and I constantly feel as though I need to help nature and animals. I've made my credo "stand up for those who cannot speak."

2. Conscience is very important in my life: Agree.

I didn't have a conscience till recently, and it's been a change. The pain of regret is almost a mental scar it creates a person to become very honest and more so blunt.

3. Selfishness is very important in my life: Agree.

I know I can be greedy and am fine with it, actually I encourage it (for Buddha said those who are greedy come back as ghosts, I want to be a ghost). It's my life and I want it My Way (like Sidney Vicious). But at the same time I can be extremely selfless. Due to how I care about other creatures safety then my own. - I give far too many fucks about other living and non-living things.

4. Doing my duty is very important in my life: Neutral/Undecided.

I don't feel as though I have a duty, I feel as though I have free will to do as I please. There is no gun at this time with finger on trigger forcing me to do things a certain way.

5. Showing respect for all persons/beings/things is very important in my life: Agree.

I respect as much as possible but when it comes to those who are horrible people like those who kill the helpless I strip them of all respect like they did the helpless.

6. Human rights are very important in my life: Strongly Agree.

I am a female - we still are seen as objects. I love to study civics just so I can help those around me when they need to have the laws and rights of the country behind them.

7. Considering the consequences for everyone is very important in my life: Neutral/Undecided.

I plan to do something selfish and I'm aware it will have negative impact in the future. But it is my life and they shall be faced with a challenge and will need to fight it.

8. Justice is very important in my life: Strongly Agree.

There are laws and right for reasons. The world just needs to learn to accept the hit of justice. Justice is a necessity in life in my opinion.

9. Personal virtues are very important in my life: Strongly Agree.

I am a very goal oriented person. I constantly plan my future and fear I may disturb it's path.

Hypothermia

The sky is seen as bright, lifting and godly. But once the darkness creeps up and devours everything all thats left is your frozen body and the smell of the frosting pavement you realize how much of a lie it truly was.

My First Sonnet

Those in copper jackets came with their arms bared,Torturing the people whose minds weren’t theirs’.

A plan to shut out those who just weren’t scared.

A beaten life with all the human ensnares.

In this riot, this war, the world has been torn.

With no remain of what was here once before.

Feeling as naked as the day you were born,You are nothing but a prisoner of war.Your world cannot stand still as the air does break,

The aroma of blood gags out the new day.

Another hundred now burning at the stake,

Their bodies broken on the snow they all lay.

Hundreds of souls soon join in the horizon,

While all those who had slaughtered now wizen.

Don't Test Me

I hope you know i don't really care. You can go about saying your a model and that I try too hard. That I dream of being you. That I should stop taking soo many pictures.

Well The thing is..

I know it contradicts the fact I DON'T CARE, but I do want you to know that you are not a model. The expectations for models are outrageous and you are far too weak for criticism, especially seeing as you put out far too much that will receive harsh comments.

I don't try at all. I joke around in my pictures, a knife mustache is far from serious. Me taking pictures of myself is for pure pleasure, or in documentation of a time in my life.

All I can say about you thinking I want to be you, sure at times I get jealous of all you have, but recently your clothes have gotten so fake they've become ugly. There's something in your face that makes me not want to look at it, but yet I still do. I don't like you so why would I want to be you? I dislike myself as is and i've learned to cope with what I've got. But if I were you I wouldn't be able to.

Also because you said to stop taking soo many pictures..... nah :)

I've Officially Lost My Marbles

Yes I have indeed gone off my tit you see, I put a bun on top of my head. Not a bun you eat, not some dinner roll. A hair bun. Actually recently I went and saw the terracotta statues and the only thing I've come to realize is that if I were an asian warrior I wouldnt be that high of rank seeing as how my hair is positioned. But however my tight pants would surely throw them off.

You probably are confused on why I say I've lost my marbles. Well I just assume anyone who puts a bun on the very top of their head may indeed be insane. Why? Well why not?

To My High School Friends

Thank you so much for everything you've been to me all through high school.

Thank you for staying away when I needed a hug, thank you for your silence when I needed kind word, thank you for being aloof when my soul ached and cried out for closeness.

You all have taught me so much.

You taught me how not to trust, how not to love.

You taught me to be cynical, sarcastic and suspicious of everyone's motives, including my own.

You enlightened me to the fact that it's never a good idea to do something nice for a friend without making them beg.

Thank you for killing my hope and belief in love and friendship, for tying off my nerves and letting them die once by one until I reached that ideal state of nonfeeling.

Thank you for reminding me that my life is 100% worthless.

You saved me all that time and energy I might otherwise have wasted searching for a reason to live.

It's been one hell of a four years.

I don't know what I would have done without you.

I'm going to miss you all so much next year.

Love,
Sara.

-From "A Girl's Guide To Taking Over The World"

Blinding

No more dreaming of the day death itself fell undone. No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love.

-The Wrong Lyrics to Blinding by Florence And the Machine

Suffocation

I suffocate and promise me you won’t resuscitate, and if I change my mind it’s far too late. I’m wasting my days as i’ve wasted my nights and i've wasted my youth.

Crystal Castles

My Father's Past Bands

7/9

Buck Rodgers

Hollywood Dave & The HotHeads

Embryonic Journey

After Dark

Westbound

The Tymes

Cardboard Reggie

Formerly Known As

I used to blog, but I stopped. I used to be infamous and now I'm not. All I do is sit and procrastinate, dream away every day. Pay little attention to the things I say, and write about the things I think and feel. I am not be by word of mouth I am me in what I write about. If you speak to me face to face, my mouth will lie and create a space. A space of walls, these walls are not brick. They are made of a substance my mind made, this substance is unbreakable and it shall never be breached. So all you shall ever know about me shall be the only truth my body produces. For my truth is far to weak to be known to those who know me by speech.