We were talking like any other occasion. We had made plans for me to come over on Friday, I intended to use his house as a base. Stay in the room that has the best escape. I was going to use him for I was needed the next day in town and wanted to have the upper hand by being able to bus from a simple location. Using a guy who you call your friend, isn't the best sounding but it's not like he hasn't done worse to me.
When talking of the plans he went and created a disaster, though I was the one who brought it up. The question of what am I to you? What do you want from me? His friends who are mine too know to answer this one to what I want to hear. They usually say how they want to be in my life and runaway with me someday. Not as lovers though you can tell that they'd want that to be part of the plan. Using forever and runaway when talking to me, usually gets me interested/ on board.
But his idiotic response is why I did what I did.
I was tired of him using me, I was tired of thinking he was being sincere. I thought he cared, I really did. But he FINALLY explained himself. He came clean.
Apparently I was never a friend to him, in fact it's hard for him to have female friends. The reason we stopped being as close is because I don't put out. Though one only knows the very given reasons of why I don't. Besides my strong attachment and loyalty to my boyfriend I've sprinkled that with disgust for who he's fucked in the past and impaled a "friend card" into this poisonous cake we call a friendship.
But he decided to tell me. I wasn't his friend at all, probably never was. This entire time he had just wanted into my pants. He wanted to see how much I'd let him do to me because how attached he made me to him. I told him I don't need him, I said he could go die.
But he told me that one day I'd come crawling back to him.
I had to prove him wrong. So I did something I never thought I'd do. Something I never thought I would go through with. But I did it.
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